Greetings Taurus, you fucking pain in the ass. Does the bear shit in the woods? So does the Taurus, only they do it with their mouths. The phrase "shit-talking" was invented by the drama seeking idiot that is the Taurus. Their first priority is to make sure everyone is miserable. Props to you if you have a Taurus friend and still haven't thrown yourself off a cliff.
The Good
You are fun to be with Taurus. Since you are an attention whore, you no doubt have already befriended the entire bar. You are practical and very perceptive, and usually right about everything. You are full of yourself, and a know-it-all. When you aren’t being a slackass, you are surprisingly a hard worker. You are ambitious and successfully bring your plans to fruition.
Since you are ruled by the planet of Love and Money, you make it a point to be well-groomed and presentable as much as you can. This doesn’t suggest that you don’t like to throw baggy jeans and a t-shirt once in a while, but that’s mainly for indoors. You are so vain it’s disgusting.
The Bad
You are an honest to god asshole, and pretentious bitch. You know how to hurt people, and you will fight unfairly to win. If you ever have an embarrassing secret, don’t tell a Taurus. They will use it against you without question. They will do anything for money. If you are a successful person with a substantial bank account, you will no doubt catch the attention of a Taurus. They will not spend their own money if they don’t have to. Of all the signs they are the most selfish. What’s yours is mine and what’s mine is….mine. Don’t ever marry a Taurus.
If there is one person that needs to have their jaw shut for eternity, it would be the Taurus. Bla, bla, mother fucking, BLA!!!! If they are not contaminating the air with their constant bitching and complaining, they are alienating you in your own conversation by correcting everything you are saying. You remember when Brainy Smurf would go on an on with his self-righteous banter, before one of the smurfs wacked him with the mallet? He was most likely a Taurus.
Relationships
Taurus Man: Taureans are shallow assholes. Taurus Males likes a lady who takes care of themselves. Most men do, but the Taurus Male are the number one enforcers of this rule next to Scorpio.
Most Taureans do not believe in true love. If they had their choice between being with their soul mate and being with someone who offered them a stable and secure lifestyle, they would choose the later. So sugar mamma’s of the world, listen up! If you are looking for a fine boy toy to keep you company and likes to be led by the nose, you have found your match!
Taurus Female: You were initially attracted to a Taurean female because they are such great conversationalists. However, you will come to find that Drama is the Taurus Woman’s middle name. Not only are they full of drama, but they love to create it. Talk about starting a fire to feel the heat. Damn you, Taurus Woman!
If you don’t not meet the standards of a Taurus Female, she will not think twice about looking elsewhere. Both the male and female Taurus have no problem deceiving you, if it means they get to find something better.
Taurus and Sex
Taurus Man: The male bull are the kings of long, lavish lovemaking, so if boring sex is your thing here he is! This is the only reason you women put up with this selfish asshole. You can't rush him, because he takes his sweet ass time trying to devour every piece of your flesh...or maybe he doesn't know what the fuck he's doing. Taureans are known to excel in the oral arts, which is shocking because I can't imagine them ever shutting up for that long.
Taurus Female: There is not much difference here between the Taurus Man and Woman. The female bull has a PHD in the Oral Arts. Like the male, a Taurus female does not like to be rushed during lovemaking. Passion is a must for a Taurus woman.
How to Get Rid Of A Taurus
Wear ugly clothes. Make them terrible food. Ask them to change. Spend money like crazy. If you go on vacation together, make sure you invite your whole family. Don’t have sex with them. Tell them they are wrong.
Advice for Taurus
Since a Taurus is allergic to change, this will be pointless.
Hahahahahaha I honestly laughed at your condescending article. I really do wonder who royally fucked you over so bad.
ReplyDeleteLolol!
DeleteThinking the same thing ahahha
DeleteI completely agree..my bitchy wife matches all the above description,...especially the drama and bla..bla part.
ReplyDeleteahahaha thanks for the tip xx
ReplyDeleteOh god yes! my bitchy taurean friend is such a fucking know-it-all. She's actually dumb as hell but argues because she thinks she's right.
ReplyDelete😅
DeleteTaurus women are drama users and stay jealous lie alot dick thirsty this bitch bought her man a whole car with her tax money then was trying to bumbling money off me she borrowed money and never returned it she was messy and always starting drama smh run for the hills she tried to fight me because her ex liked me im a scorpio with Sagittarius cusp I told her to try me I will rip her as to stresds
ReplyDeleteCouldn't say it better myself. Spot on!
ReplyDeleteomg been with a taurus guy for 10 years and this description is DEAD ON. every last detail!
ReplyDeleteIam taurus ~ but actually rich taurus woman looking rich man for protection ~ we dont take man money , we dont like relationship with poor man ! We dont like pushing a lot ! We always picky about relationship , we love anything expensive , number 1 in my life are food .
ReplyDeleteDamn..😂🍵 I agree With Most Of what you said..
ReplyDeleteWell, well, well.....Taurus Woman here and we are really smart so its hard not to share things with the world...lololol. Some stuff tickld me and was dead on...other stuff not so much.
ReplyDeleteWell, well, well.....Taurus Woman here and we are really smart so its hard not to share things with the world...lololol. Some stuff tickld me and was dead on...other stuff not so much.
ReplyDeleteWell, well, well.....Taurus Woman here and we are really smart so its hard not to share things with the world...lololol. Some stuff tickled me and was dead on...other stuff not so much.
ReplyDeleteWell, well, well.....Taurus Woman here and we are really smart so its hard not to share things with the world...lololol. Some stuff tickled me and was dead on...other stuff not so much.
ReplyDeleteOMG!! I've been with the same fucking asshole prick for 16 years who in the end realized that I was a deeper more living human being than he could ever hope to be! I just couldn't give up b/c of marriage and kids until I discovered the loser was cheating on me with a married co-worker. I've been heartbroken but am finally free of his cold as ice downgrading cruel mean spiritedness abusive controlling shallow stupid depressing bitching complaining bullshit!! He is a heartless bully to everyone. I fucking hate the prick...! He will never have true love. Just waiting for Karma to step in. Good riddance Taurus...never again..!
ReplyDeleteomg i love this piece of shit hahahahahahaha! thanks for being brutally honest lol xoxo
ReplyDeleteomg i love this piece of shit hahahahahahaha! thanks for being brutally honest lol xoxo
ReplyDeleteHey, I'm a Taurus and you're a fucking idiot if you actually believe in this astrological bullshit.Just because somebody did you wrong doesn't mean it has anything to do with their sign. Maybe you were a shitty lover...as a taurus none of this is true. I have am good heart and it's unfortunate you had a bad experiencexperience with one of the most "loving signs."
ReplyDeleteOh yes it is and youe comments further prove it to be true. Tauruses are nothing more than insecure little pompous assholes who try to prohect their self hatred onto others.
DeleteOmg Taurus are the worst of people!users, schemers, players, greed, pretenders, heartless and the list can go on and on.
DeleteOmg. .. i swear this accuratwly describes the taurus that happens to be my husbands4older brother. He is running a smear campaign and has even turned the one person who i actually got along with in the family against me over lies because he's so fucking miserable and immature AF. I fucking hate tauruses. The taurus i am speaking about needs a hard stomp in his throat and a mud hole in his ass.
ReplyDeleteYeah fucking taurus and their petty games. Fuck them all off. They are so motherfucking stupid cunts
ReplyDeleteThis is true taurus woman wants hot sex and she wants to talk and you listen if you talk she will just wait till ur done and forget about what you said taurus woman gets bored easily and also loves assholes of you are not a dick to an taurus woman then she will lose interest buy her flowers only when shes mad if you want to keep her make her feel like she is ugly because if you tell her she's beautiful she will fuck your best friend or anybody close to you she is very lusty they love bad things they get excited when they are doing something they arent supposed to be taurus women that drink are annoying andd will fuck anything in sight be carefull they will give u an std just because they are mad that sumone gave it ti then taurus women will not cheat on u but will break up with you and 2 seconds after breaking up and they think that its okay they can go fuck somebody else and then they will come back once their thirst is quenched for a while and the taurus woman doesn't think about the pain she's caused you they will say sorry but dont mean it and only say it to get you back because they are afraid to be alone they hate being lonely ..so always make them feel like your able to leave easily because if you shiw a taurus woman u are there to stay she will lose interest and bitch constantly till you leave or she breaks up so she can call people that don't like her but use her up because a. Rich taurus woman will buy out the bar but will remind you that she paid foe everything
ReplyDeleteTaurus woman is very hard to keep satisfied you always have to be ib your tippy toes with her
And you will have ti bitch at her abd be an ass taurus woman love drama and don't want to be without it
Not all taurus womab are the same but the spoiled ones from childhood are and they are good at lying but always get caught in the long run they will hurt you if you hurt them they will scar u for life if u ket then
There was lots of truth to this article tho. Taurus men are terrible people and they are users I can vouch for that.
ReplyDeleteOmg,so true. Once they used you,they walk away without warning (sic)
ReplyDeletehaha, extreme but true
ReplyDeleteTaurus men are the worst one can think of. With my Taurus lover I've experienced that money speaks. If i don't help him month ends, i know by then that he won't be in contact with me for days on end. His selfish, heartless and i wonder why astrology say that they're the best lovers. As long as he can get, whether it's food for him or his family or anything related to giving. His even reminding me months before his birthday when his birthday is. In an indirect way even asking what I'm going to get for his birthday. I'm at a stage where i laugh at him when he ask. I cant stand him any longer. I send him 3 long emails in the past saying that it's not working between us, but the more I say, the more he refuses to accept me wanting to leave him. I'm not sure how people like Taurus men can go around using people for their convenience. As I'm scorpio ,I have pride and I'll think twice before i ask anyone for anything. Any advice how i can get rid of this thick skin, heartless Taurus lover?
ReplyDeleteI'm a Cancer and I know a taurus he is the best he looks out for me...I can't ask him to spend money on me but he will be the first one to my rescue of course when I need help.. he will curse me up down around and sideways but he will be there.... He's great with cars every time I was out of car he helped me get back right....I think I was supposed to be a one and done but he got smitten...I feel I learned a lot from him...He encouraged me all the way to my future career as a nurse..It's a love hate thing..I remember I did something horrible to him I felt bad and admitted what I did and he forgave me...
ReplyDelete��thank you for saying outright what the Taurus man is like.Omg,my experience with this "can't trust in all ways" Taurus boyfriend of mine is a parasite, user and boast with other people's hard earned money is the worse I've ever met. All they leave behind is bad memories of who they really are. May the Almighty have a little mercy on them for treating their partners badly. Sorry to say this, but to me, they are Narcissistic. Not worth being around them because they're standing in front of you, but their minds are with someone else. I wish I can get rid of this man. I've tried several times, but the user keeps on contacting me or just showing up unexpected. Does anybody have an idea how to get rid of this Taurus boyfriend of mine please?
ReplyDelete