Saturday, December 26, 2009

Capricorn (Dec.22 - Jan.19)

This is going to be a short post, because by the time I finish writing about the bore that is Capricorn, I’ll pass out. You are so boring Capricorn! My biggest problem with you is that you can live a lifetime without having sex. How can you possibly live? You're always in "work mode", which is why I can't take you to parties.

The Good

Capricorn’s are hard workers, and excellent planners, well in most cases. They almost never fail a task they are given. The rarer of the Capi's are actually party animals and self-destructive.

The Bad

Boring, workaholics, boring, wimps, boring, don't like confrontation, and boring.

Relationships

I’m not going to bother separating the sexes, because neither has time for relationships. In fact, the only way you can have a relationships with a Capricorn is if you are just as busy as they are.

Capricorns and Sex

Capricorn Man: If you want a marathon man, then ladies you’ve found him. Capricorn Men are known to have incredible stamina and are experts at prolonging their orgasm. The won’t pop till you both are good and ready. Capricorn Men are somewhat generous lovers, but they don’t usually like performing oral sex on a woman. The greatest thing about a Capricorn man is, that they will NOT take no for an answer. Most men get the point when you’re not “in the mood”, but for a Capricorn Man, that is an open door. I wish more men would do this!

Capricorn Woman: The interesting thing about Capricorn Women are that they have the strangest sexual triggers. Most Capi Women do not respond to the basic foreplay. A simple touch or a trivial phrase that has nothing to do with sex, can very well put her in the mood. Capi Women are also freaks in bed, so gentlemen, watch your ass. No seriously, putting things in your “no-no” hole is something alot of Capricorn women fantasize about.

How to get rid of a Capricorn

This will be easy, because chances are they will probably leave your first. Insult their intelligence. Be VERY confrontational. Raise your voice when you talk to them. Go to the most sociable places together. Be rude to their families.

Advice for Capricorn

Stop being such a workaholic. Sex is a good thing! Let people finish before you start talking.


14 comments:

  1. You can tell a Capricorn to stop being workaholic then they wouldn't be Capricorn. Sound like you went in bad relationship doesn't mean you can judge all capricious Capricorn.

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  2. You can tell a Capricorn to stop being workaholic then they wouldn't be Capricorn. Sound like you went in bad relationship doesn't mean you can judge all capricious Capricorn.

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  3. You can tell a Capricorn to stop being workaholic then they wouldn't be Capricorn. Sound like you went in bad relationship doesn't mean you can judge all capricious Capricorn.

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  8. Wow, Rochana got offended; try being a Libra for a day, you'll feel much better, ok?

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  9. I for one have the Cap's outrageous sense of humor and found all the digs under every Astro sign delightfully refreshing. Keep up the realistic sarcasm!!8)

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  10. Where not that fucking boring! I have Libra Accendent and a Virgo moon. I'm not that bad...

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  11. I’m a cap and not a workaholic in fact I love being at home chilling or on vacation in a foreign environment outside of the stares. I don’t mind confrontation AT ALL and I welcome direct people in my life Bcz I hate passive aggressiveness with a passion. If u don’t know enough about caps u shld just say so instead of writing this lackluster inconsistent nonsense lol

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