I am by NO means an expert in Astrology. I spent the last ten years reading countless books about Sun Signs and Compatibility. Naturally, I think it is all bullshit, hence the name of this site. However, I'm widely intrigued by the coincidences that I found in Astrology with my own real life experiences with friends, strangers, and lovers.
I remember going to bars in my early years and striking up conversations with random boys. I would always ask that annoying girl question, "What's your sign"? At first it was a joke, but soon enough I started taking notes about my experiences in a Steno Notebook and compared them with all the books I have at home.
I made this site so that all my findings don't disappear into my little notebook. A lot of friends and family find that my interpretations are a pretty stupid, but hilarious. I would like to think so too.
So take it for what it is, and for the love of puppies do not take it seriously. This is strictly for entertainment purposes, not to make you guys start flame wars. (I used to have a domain and it got ugly.) Really? It's Astrology people!
Friday, August 13, 2010
Gemini Compatibility
Gemini and Aries: You will never be bored with fellow freak Aries. Since you both never want to settle down and have a great sense of adventure there will never be a dull moment between you two. The Aries, however, is a control freak which will not sit well with you. If you have any air left to breath, this relationship could work nicely.
Gemini and Taurus: You two are complete opposites, which intrigues your Taurus. While they too seek adventure and excitement, it's usually only temporary. The Bulls are known to be homebodies, which you will quickly get tired of. Their need for stability and the "lights off, missionary only" sex will have you pulling the emergency exit on the next plane. Chances for this to work are very slim.
Gemini and Gemini: Have you ever had so much candy, so much sex, so much money that you don't know what to do with it? Such is the case for dating your twin. The two of you together is a force to be reckoned, no doubt. So much excitement, fire, and passion that you two will drown inside eachother. As long as you two can find a balance, this match is heaven.
Gemini and Cancer: In a way, you two kind of need eachother. Their gentle way of telling you that you have the attention span of a wasp will hug your soul in the only way a Cancer can. The excitement and slew of weirdos you bring to the house will be welcomed by your emo Crab. It's safe to say you two are the only ones that can give what the other lacks without waging war. Tricky, but if it works it can be as delicious as chocolate.
Gemini and Leo: You will be wildly intrigued by the Lion. They love to go out as much as you do, but they prefer to spend alot of money where you just want to go where the fun is. You will never understand why the Lion spends so much money on practical items. Their constant need to be praised and adored will ultimately bore you, and their demands to claim your fidelity earlier then you'd like will turn you off completely. If you can find a level headed Leo, this match could have endless and favorable possibilities.
Gemini and Virgo: Your Virgo is too damn busy to even notice how fickle and sporadic you are. You will probably need to make an appointment to see the Virgo. Since you can appreciate this quality in a them, you don't have to worry about he or she trying to tie you down. You two will have awesome conversations, and you both love talking during sexy times. The only challenge you face is that the Virgo is such a worry wart, but it's nothing you can't handle. You get the green light for this relationship.
Gemini and Libra: You two are a match made in heaven! You are both equally fickle and talkative, and the Libra's sense of adventure may outdo your own. They too are gifted in communication and have many interesting friends. Combine the two worlds and you'll never want to let go! Since the Libra is more marriage minded than you are, make your intentions known in the beginning or you'll get a marriage proposal in two months.
Gemini and Scorpio: Your Scorpio is moody and quite mysterious. Thank god you are too busy tearing up the town to notice. Once you do, you will find that like the Cancer, the Scorpio will sit and pout silently till they are ready to discuss what crawled up their ass and died. Other than that you have a very resourceful partner that could get you out of a jam, since you do get yourself into some serious shit most of the time. The sex will no doubt be mind blowing, so there will be little to complain about there.
Gemini and Sagittarius: You will no doubt be entertained for decades by the accident prone Sagi. Like the Libra, the Sagi is perhaps one of the best matches for you yet. The sign of the Bachelor is also allergic to settling down, and you will gladly follow their clumsy move to the next. You will never be bored with a Sagi! Sexually, the possibilities are endless. No other sign can take your sex life into the depths the way a Sagi can. This relationship is bound for the alter, or in your case complete monogamy.
Gemini and Capricorn: Like the Virgo, the Capricorn spends alot of time behind the desk, if not more than the Virgo. You will like this about them, and they will make sure you two are well taken care of. You will be introduced to alot of successful people, and you will be impressed by the amount of dedication a Capi spends on his work. That alone might be the problem. Work will always come first in the relationship. Sex is the last thing on a Capi's mind, but when you do go there, you will be surprised at how open they are to trying new things. This is where you come in. If you don't mind being second on their priority list, than the Goat is for you!
Gemini and Aquarius: This can be heaven for both of you. The Aquarius is attracted to the unusual, and will take your mind to places it has never been before. They have their own collection of odd friends and traditions that will blow your mind away. Sexually, they will take you to the moon and back plus tax and a bag of chips. It's extremely hard to not fall in love with the Aquarius.
Gemini and Pisces: Another case of opposites attract. At first you will enjoy the wonderful and captivating conversations you will have with the Pisces. They will not care that you have ADD and are out there doing your own thing. Just don't mislead them into thinking you want a relationship. The Pisces are known to never forgive, AND forget. Once they swim out of your crazy pond they will never come back, so be careful what you say to them.
Gemini and Taurus: You two are complete opposites, which intrigues your Taurus. While they too seek adventure and excitement, it's usually only temporary. The Bulls are known to be homebodies, which you will quickly get tired of. Their need for stability and the "lights off, missionary only" sex will have you pulling the emergency exit on the next plane. Chances for this to work are very slim.
Gemini and Gemini: Have you ever had so much candy, so much sex, so much money that you don't know what to do with it? Such is the case for dating your twin. The two of you together is a force to be reckoned, no doubt. So much excitement, fire, and passion that you two will drown inside eachother. As long as you two can find a balance, this match is heaven.
Gemini and Cancer: In a way, you two kind of need eachother. Their gentle way of telling you that you have the attention span of a wasp will hug your soul in the only way a Cancer can. The excitement and slew of weirdos you bring to the house will be welcomed by your emo Crab. It's safe to say you two are the only ones that can give what the other lacks without waging war. Tricky, but if it works it can be as delicious as chocolate.
Gemini and Leo: You will be wildly intrigued by the Lion. They love to go out as much as you do, but they prefer to spend alot of money where you just want to go where the fun is. You will never understand why the Lion spends so much money on practical items. Their constant need to be praised and adored will ultimately bore you, and their demands to claim your fidelity earlier then you'd like will turn you off completely. If you can find a level headed Leo, this match could have endless and favorable possibilities.
Gemini and Virgo: Your Virgo is too damn busy to even notice how fickle and sporadic you are. You will probably need to make an appointment to see the Virgo. Since you can appreciate this quality in a them, you don't have to worry about he or she trying to tie you down. You two will have awesome conversations, and you both love talking during sexy times. The only challenge you face is that the Virgo is such a worry wart, but it's nothing you can't handle. You get the green light for this relationship.
Gemini and Libra: You two are a match made in heaven! You are both equally fickle and talkative, and the Libra's sense of adventure may outdo your own. They too are gifted in communication and have many interesting friends. Combine the two worlds and you'll never want to let go! Since the Libra is more marriage minded than you are, make your intentions known in the beginning or you'll get a marriage proposal in two months.
Gemini and Scorpio: Your Scorpio is moody and quite mysterious. Thank god you are too busy tearing up the town to notice. Once you do, you will find that like the Cancer, the Scorpio will sit and pout silently till they are ready to discuss what crawled up their ass and died. Other than that you have a very resourceful partner that could get you out of a jam, since you do get yourself into some serious shit most of the time. The sex will no doubt be mind blowing, so there will be little to complain about there.
Gemini and Sagittarius: You will no doubt be entertained for decades by the accident prone Sagi. Like the Libra, the Sagi is perhaps one of the best matches for you yet. The sign of the Bachelor is also allergic to settling down, and you will gladly follow their clumsy move to the next. You will never be bored with a Sagi! Sexually, the possibilities are endless. No other sign can take your sex life into the depths the way a Sagi can. This relationship is bound for the alter, or in your case complete monogamy.
Gemini and Capricorn: Like the Virgo, the Capricorn spends alot of time behind the desk, if not more than the Virgo. You will like this about them, and they will make sure you two are well taken care of. You will be introduced to alot of successful people, and you will be impressed by the amount of dedication a Capi spends on his work. That alone might be the problem. Work will always come first in the relationship. Sex is the last thing on a Capi's mind, but when you do go there, you will be surprised at how open they are to trying new things. This is where you come in. If you don't mind being second on their priority list, than the Goat is for you!
Gemini and Aquarius: This can be heaven for both of you. The Aquarius is attracted to the unusual, and will take your mind to places it has never been before. They have their own collection of odd friends and traditions that will blow your mind away. Sexually, they will take you to the moon and back plus tax and a bag of chips. It's extremely hard to not fall in love with the Aquarius.
Gemini and Pisces: Another case of opposites attract. At first you will enjoy the wonderful and captivating conversations you will have with the Pisces. They will not care that you have ADD and are out there doing your own thing. Just don't mislead them into thinking you want a relationship. The Pisces are known to never forgive, AND forget. Once they swim out of your crazy pond they will never come back, so be careful what you say to them.
Pisces (Feb. 19 - March 20)
Greetings Pisces! When you decide to come back from Never-Never Land, there is full life in a planet called "reality" that is waiting for you. Stop thinking that you got dealt a bad hand in life. We are all in hell with you! No, no…put down the bottle and pills. It's gonna be okay! Quit being a bitch and make sure you pass the message to Cancer. When you get out of your magical turtoise shell, I have a few things to say to you Pisces!!!
The Good
The Fishies are friendly and engaging. They make it a point to steer clear from drama and negativity. They also seem to exist in their weirdness amongst normal people without distraction. They are usually proud of who they are, and don't buy into the social norms of what is "acceptable". They are wildly intelligent and articulate. Most nerds are Pisces.
The Bad
Weak and easily manipulated. They have little to no willpower. Like the Cancer, their anger is tightly bottled which can explode in a violent rage. As sweet and adorable as they are, it is not wise to physically threaten a Pisces. They need to unleash that hidden fury somehow, even if it happens to be your face. I think I should have put that last sentence in the section above.
Weak and easily manipulated. They have little to no willpower. Like the Cancer, their anger is tightly bottled which can explode in a violent rage. As sweet and adorable as they are, it is not wise to physically threaten a Pisces. They need to unleash that hidden fury somehow, even if it happens to be your face. I think I should have put that last sentence in the section above.
Relationships
Pisces Man: If you want a date someone who likes to talk about "feelings" then look no further. The Pisces Man has dinner and conversation down to a science. If you had a bad day at work, make sure you don't bring that mess to your Pisces Man. They will snap their fingers in Z formation and tell you to git! There is no room for drama and negativity in Wonderland!!!
Pisces Woman: The female Pisces is not much different then their male counterparts. They are equally as engaging, if not more than the male fish. Dating a Pisces woman is a breath of fresh air. They are funny, talkative, and will make you feel like a manly man since they constantly need to feel protected and safe. You might feel like you are dating your mother because the Pisces woman likes to fully nurture her man.
Pisces and Sex
Pisces Man: The Pisces male likes to take his time before he opens that door, because sex really isn't a big deal to them. They need to feel that deep soulful connection before any naked bond is to be made. Once you break that door open with your hungry cooch, (or penis) you will find that the male fishy is actually quite kinky and into role playing, which makes sense since they have that vivid imagination from all their years in OZ.
Pisces Woman: Not much difference here in the females. They love to cuddle (Aries, look away) and engage in endless nights of pillow talk. They too are kinky like their male counterpart, but definitely more physical. Your Pisces Woman will put on a show for you, no doubt. However, like the male, you won't get what you want until you have put your entire back into it. Don't sneer! If it's too easy to get, it's not really worth getting is it?
How to get rid of a Pisces
Do not sugarcoat. Create lots of drama (I'm looking at you Taurus). Discourage their ideas. Tell them to stop digging in their closet for Narnia.
Advice for Pisces
Speak up! Stop drinking so much! If you're going through a tough time, talk about it. You don't have to pop a bitch in their mouth!
Monday, July 5, 2010
Taurus Compatibility
Taurus and Aries: You came here to see if I would say anything different about you two, didn't you? Whether you like it or not, this union was doomed before you started to think about it. You'll always find something to disagree about, and you two will never get along. This match is completely hopeless.
Taurus and Taurus: Boring. All you'll do is talk, eat, and get fat. This relationship will feel like you are dating a cousin. Weird.
Taurus and Gemini: Your physical attraction is the only glue to this relationship. While both you and the Gemini seek adventure, at the end of the day you want a solid, stable partner. The Gemini's fickleness, knack for quickies, and always wanting to be on the go, will irritate you and eventually turn you into the cheating asshole that you are.
Taurus and Cancer: You will dislike eachother at first, but will come to realize you are the male and female version of eachother. The Cancer will give you exactly what you need: good food, great sex, comfortable home and complete devotion. Your sturdiness will curb his/her mood swings, and their ability to know you're every wish before your command will have you both heading for the alter. You both disgust me.
Taurus and Leo: Your Leo lover will no doubt drive you bat-shit, but that is what you love about them: their lives are always full of drama, something you cannot live without. Your challenge is that you are both equally vain, and demand attention from eachother. However, because you are both so stubborn neither of you will cave, and this relationship turns into an eternal bout of the cat chasing the mouse. All in all, not a bad match. They based the War of the Roses on you two.
Taurus and Virgo: A pretty easy match. You both are solid and stable, even though you will have to spend alot of time convincing Virgo to stop trying to be so perfect. You'll have their complete fidelity, which is one of the most important things to you. Overall a boring and normal relationship *yawn*
Taurus and Libra: You will appreciate Libra's vanity, and appreciation towards the arts. However, like the Gemini, they tend to have ants in their pants and you will always have to find new and creative ways to entertain your Libra. In addition, you will have permanent face-palm marks on your face due to their inability to make up their mind.
Taurus and Scorpio: The only good thing about this union is the sex, which will only be temporary. All you do is argue, because you are both strong-willed and stubborn about your beliefs. Your Scorpion's inability to let you in, and your constant hunger for attention will eventually detonate the relationship.
Taurus and Sagittarius: I would pay money to see you two attempt a relationship. It will be better than Pay-Per-View. You are organized, disciplined and responsible, while the clumsy and stupid Archer is the complete opposite. Your Sagi will be impressed by how smart you are and will probably emulate your style, since they don't have a mind of their own. You will find them entertaining the same way a King is amused by his court jester.
Taurus and Capricorn: This is a good match. You are both equally boring and dull. The Capi will bring the angry Taurus into a calmer state. These two will most likely remain friends if a relationship doesn't work.
Taurus and Aquarius: The Bull cannot stand the fickle Aquarius, but they will find an equally chatty partner should they decide to date the crackhead that is the Water Bearer. Not a bad match by any means, but the Aquarian may run for the hills if you demand too much attention.
Taurus and Pisces: This is perhaps the closest you will get to a perfect match. However this has the best chance of working if the Taurus is a male. The female Bull will eat the male Pisceian for breakfast, lunch, and dinner.
Taurus and Taurus: Boring. All you'll do is talk, eat, and get fat. This relationship will feel like you are dating a cousin. Weird.
Taurus and Gemini: Your physical attraction is the only glue to this relationship. While both you and the Gemini seek adventure, at the end of the day you want a solid, stable partner. The Gemini's fickleness, knack for quickies, and always wanting to be on the go, will irritate you and eventually turn you into the cheating asshole that you are.
Taurus and Cancer: You will dislike eachother at first, but will come to realize you are the male and female version of eachother. The Cancer will give you exactly what you need: good food, great sex, comfortable home and complete devotion. Your sturdiness will curb his/her mood swings, and their ability to know you're every wish before your command will have you both heading for the alter. You both disgust me.
Taurus and Leo: Your Leo lover will no doubt drive you bat-shit, but that is what you love about them: their lives are always full of drama, something you cannot live without. Your challenge is that you are both equally vain, and demand attention from eachother. However, because you are both so stubborn neither of you will cave, and this relationship turns into an eternal bout of the cat chasing the mouse. All in all, not a bad match. They based the War of the Roses on you two.
Taurus and Virgo: A pretty easy match. You both are solid and stable, even though you will have to spend alot of time convincing Virgo to stop trying to be so perfect. You'll have their complete fidelity, which is one of the most important things to you. Overall a boring and normal relationship *yawn*
Taurus and Libra: You will appreciate Libra's vanity, and appreciation towards the arts. However, like the Gemini, they tend to have ants in their pants and you will always have to find new and creative ways to entertain your Libra. In addition, you will have permanent face-palm marks on your face due to their inability to make up their mind.
Taurus and Scorpio: The only good thing about this union is the sex, which will only be temporary. All you do is argue, because you are both strong-willed and stubborn about your beliefs. Your Scorpion's inability to let you in, and your constant hunger for attention will eventually detonate the relationship.
Taurus and Sagittarius: I would pay money to see you two attempt a relationship. It will be better than Pay-Per-View. You are organized, disciplined and responsible, while the clumsy and stupid Archer is the complete opposite. Your Sagi will be impressed by how smart you are and will probably emulate your style, since they don't have a mind of their own. You will find them entertaining the same way a King is amused by his court jester.
Taurus and Capricorn: This is a good match. You are both equally boring and dull. The Capi will bring the angry Taurus into a calmer state. These two will most likely remain friends if a relationship doesn't work.
Taurus and Aquarius: The Bull cannot stand the fickle Aquarius, but they will find an equally chatty partner should they decide to date the crackhead that is the Water Bearer. Not a bad match by any means, but the Aquarian may run for the hills if you demand too much attention.
Taurus and Pisces: This is perhaps the closest you will get to a perfect match. However this has the best chance of working if the Taurus is a male. The female Bull will eat the male Pisceian for breakfast, lunch, and dinner.
Saturday, December 26, 2009
Aries Compatibility
Aries and Aries: You are both like piranha’s, and will probably end up killing eachother. You two are way too alike to get along. Since the female Aries likes to be the dominating one, this will highly disagree with the male Aries urge to be the king of the universe. You are both screwed.
Aries and Taurus: The only good thing about this is the sex. As a couple, you two blow. Unless you want to have a lover for ten years, this is the biggest mistake of your life.
Aries and Gemini: This could work since you’re both freaks. You both don’t want to settle down, and enjoy your sexual freedom. This alone will bring you close together. The only challenge here is that Aries likes to be in control, and may try to maneuver the sporadic Gemini.
Aries and Cancer: This is a joke. What attracted Aries to the Cancer was their submissive nature. Little does the Aries know, the Cancer will not bow down forever. A Cancer is known to put up with shit, but not take crap. Since Aries is ruled by fire, and Cancer is ruled by water, the Crab will do a fine job putting out the Ram’s flames.
Aries and Leo: You’ve met your soulmate. You both have big egos and are equally horny. Aries will just have to learn how to stroke the Leo’s ego a bit, and the Leo has to make sure he or she isn’t too dominating. Other than that, knock yourselves out kids.
Aries and Virgo: You are too much for the Virgo to handle. While you both have the same ideas about money and stability, your sex life is bound to be hell. Virgos are too conservative for you. This will not last a month.
Aries and Libra: You will no doubt have great conversations and a lasting friendship, but all goes to hell when you reach the bedroom. Libra’s like to have an elaborate performance before they mate, but you, Aries, like to charge your lover like a hungry lion. You will never marry a Libra.
Aries and Scorpio: This will be interesting indeed. You will spend alot of time arguing with a Scorpio, and you will almost never win, pathetic Aries. The anger of a Scorpio is not to be reckoned with, and since you thrive on competion and being the best, you will never shut the hell up till your Scorpio lover surrenders. The bedroom will be fun, but since you lack passion you will not go very far with a Scorpio.
Aries and Sagittarius: You are intelligent and direct. Sagittarians are clumsy and stupid. This will not agree with you Aries, since you like to have to have mental stimulation when in a relationship. Your sex life will be the glue that keeps you together.
Aries and Capricorn: This will not be good. You are both bossy and aggressive, so you have some tough competition Aries. There will be little to complain about in the bedroom, but as a couple you two are a nightmare.
Aries and Aquarius: Another good match for you, Aries. Since Aquarius are airheads like Libras, they will be easy to control to your liking. Your sex life will be incredible. You should marry an Aquarius, because nobody else is gonna do it.
Aries and Pisces: At first, you look at a Pisces like an attraction in the Zoo. You are so impressed with their imagination and willingness to explore. You have the power to draw out their innermost sexual fantasies. To my own shock, this has alot of relationship and even marriage potential.
Aries and Taurus: The only good thing about this is the sex. As a couple, you two blow. Unless you want to have a lover for ten years, this is the biggest mistake of your life.
Aries and Gemini: This could work since you’re both freaks. You both don’t want to settle down, and enjoy your sexual freedom. This alone will bring you close together. The only challenge here is that Aries likes to be in control, and may try to maneuver the sporadic Gemini.
Aries and Cancer: This is a joke. What attracted Aries to the Cancer was their submissive nature. Little does the Aries know, the Cancer will not bow down forever. A Cancer is known to put up with shit, but not take crap. Since Aries is ruled by fire, and Cancer is ruled by water, the Crab will do a fine job putting out the Ram’s flames.
Aries and Leo: You’ve met your soulmate. You both have big egos and are equally horny. Aries will just have to learn how to stroke the Leo’s ego a bit, and the Leo has to make sure he or she isn’t too dominating. Other than that, knock yourselves out kids.
Aries and Virgo: You are too much for the Virgo to handle. While you both have the same ideas about money and stability, your sex life is bound to be hell. Virgos are too conservative for you. This will not last a month.
Aries and Libra: You will no doubt have great conversations and a lasting friendship, but all goes to hell when you reach the bedroom. Libra’s like to have an elaborate performance before they mate, but you, Aries, like to charge your lover like a hungry lion. You will never marry a Libra.
Aries and Scorpio: This will be interesting indeed. You will spend alot of time arguing with a Scorpio, and you will almost never win, pathetic Aries. The anger of a Scorpio is not to be reckoned with, and since you thrive on competion and being the best, you will never shut the hell up till your Scorpio lover surrenders. The bedroom will be fun, but since you lack passion you will not go very far with a Scorpio.
Aries and Sagittarius: You are intelligent and direct. Sagittarians are clumsy and stupid. This will not agree with you Aries, since you like to have to have mental stimulation when in a relationship. Your sex life will be the glue that keeps you together.
Aries and Capricorn: This will not be good. You are both bossy and aggressive, so you have some tough competition Aries. There will be little to complain about in the bedroom, but as a couple you two are a nightmare.
Aries and Aquarius: Another good match for you, Aries. Since Aquarius are airheads like Libras, they will be easy to control to your liking. Your sex life will be incredible. You should marry an Aquarius, because nobody else is gonna do it.
Aries and Pisces: At first, you look at a Pisces like an attraction in the Zoo. You are so impressed with their imagination and willingness to explore. You have the power to draw out their innermost sexual fantasies. To my own shock, this has alot of relationship and even marriage potential.
Aquarius (Jan. 21 - Feb. 21)
If there is a true keeper of the magical unicorn forest, it would be Aquarius. It's really hard to find something bad to say about the water bearer because they are so fucking cool and irresistible. Fuck you Aquarius! See, now I feel like shit.
The Good
Aquarius are over-all fun loving people. Like Libra, it is hard for them to make enemies. They will talk to anything and anyone under the sign. If there was an Emo surrounded by a group of Cholos, the Aquarius will no doubt be the first one to welcome him to the circle. Of all the Sun Signs, the Aquarius truly is the one sign that could care less about what you think of them or their decisions, and the least to brag about it.
The Bad
The only bad thing about an Aquarius is that there is really nothing that bad I can say about them. Bastards.
Relationships
Aquarius Man: Aquarius men are notorious for doing the "friends first" thing before they get into a serious relationship. They will hardly waste their time with a female that they can't have a stimulating conversation with. Aquarians and Sagi's are the most immune to woman's cries of emotional neediness.
Aquarius Woman: There really isn't that much difference here from their male counterparts. Like the Aquarius Man, the women will not bother with a brainless mutant, and will want to get to know their potential partner on a friend basis first. Don't ever get caught repeating a stupid pick-up line. The Aquarius Woman owns the No-Nonsense Cafe, and they will not be buying your line of bullshit today. Creativity is key.
Aquarius and Sex
Aquarius Man: Unpredictable. Most Aquarius Men are exciting and uninhibited lovers. You just never know with them. Just always be ready for action. The best part of having an Aquarius Man as a lover, is that you can truly be yourself around him. Since they are blinded by social norms, nothing is too weird or too simple to try. It's all about you and where you both are mentally.
Aquarius Woman: Again, there isn't much difference with the female water bearer. The better your friendship or bonding experience, the better the sex. Just don't expect to get some after an emotional argument. Aquarius in general cannot be bothered with neediness and emotion during sex. It will take forever and a day for them to even consider having a serious relationship with you, so cut it out and save that shit for later.
How to get rid of a Aquarius
Lie all the time. Be conservative. Ask for emotional support. Be clingy.
Advice for Aquarius
Stop being so fucking cool.
Capricorn (Dec.22 - Jan.19)
This is going to be a short post, because by the time I finish writing about the bore that is Capricorn, I’ll pass out. You are so boring Capricorn! My biggest problem with you is that you can live a lifetime without having sex. How can you possibly live? You're always in "work mode", which is why I can't take you to parties.
The Good
Capricorn’s are hard workers, and excellent planners, well in most cases. They almost never fail a task they are given. The rarer of the Capi's are actually party animals and self-destructive.
The Bad
Boring, workaholics, boring, wimps, boring, don't like confrontation, and boring.
Relationships
I’m not going to bother separating the sexes, because neither has time for relationships. In fact, the only way you can have a relationships with a Capricorn is if you are just as busy as they are.
Capricorns and Sex
Capricorn Man: If you want a marathon man, then ladies you’ve found him. Capricorn Men are known to have incredible stamina and are experts at prolonging their orgasm. The won’t pop till you both are good and ready. Capricorn Men are somewhat generous lovers, but they don’t usually like performing oral sex on a woman. The greatest thing about a Capricorn man is, that they will NOT take no for an answer. Most men get the point when you’re not “in the mood”, but for a Capricorn Man, that is an open door. I wish more men would do this!
Capricorn Woman: The interesting thing about Capricorn Women are that they have the strangest sexual triggers. Most Capi Women do not respond to the basic foreplay. A simple touch or a trivial phrase that has nothing to do with sex, can very well put her in the mood. Capi Women are also freaks in bed, so gentlemen, watch your ass. No seriously, putting things in your “no-no” hole is something alot of Capricorn women fantasize about.
How to get rid of a Capricorn
This will be easy, because chances are they will probably leave your first. Insult their intelligence. Be VERY confrontational. Raise your voice when you talk to them. Go to the most sociable places together. Be rude to their families.
Advice for Capricorn
Stop being such a workaholic. Sex is a good thing! Let people finish before you start talking.
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